Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
