its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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