Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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