Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Houston, we have a squirter
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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