everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize