I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
