Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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