One girl and one boy is just not enough.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
