Screwed.edu
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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