you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
