the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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