I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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