too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd cum for enchiladas.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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