My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
