p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
