so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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