The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
