dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
