nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it hurts more in the daytime
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
