did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize