I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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