If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
