Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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