im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
