I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
