it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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