So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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