Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
