how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
