She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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