its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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