i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Farmville is her only friend.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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