I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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