I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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