At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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