so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
