I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
