Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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