I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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