hotel room ftw
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
