we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
