Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she looked like the before picture.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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