I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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