she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
