apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
