This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
