We named our party play list daddy issues
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
