i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
