it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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