We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
