I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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