I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
