OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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