no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What a dumb baby whore.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
